I grew up exposed to conservative, christian marriages even though I was raised by a single mother. I was raised to aspire to that kind of marriage because it’s the “right and proper way”. Gender and relationship stereotypes where husbands lead and wives followed or submit were entrenched in every lesson, moral instruction and youth counseling session.
As I grew older and started looking closely, I saw how unhappy most of the married people around me were; the women struggling and sometimes resigned to playing their assigned gender roles and I knew something was wrong with that dynamic and I was sure I wanted none of it.
Continue reading “I Want An Egalitarian Marriage…”
This is not really meant to be a ‘relationship or marriage coach’ kinda post. (Apologies in advance if it reads like that).
I just really want to share about how important prayer is in our relationship with our partners. Whether married, engaged or dating, if you’re in love and romantically involved with someone, you cannot take prayer out of the relationship.
Let me start by saying that if you do not have the confidence to bear down to talk to God about the person you’re with, you might want to check the foundations of that relationship and be honest with yourself if you should be with that person.
See, God loves love. Yes he does! He’s the author of love. In fact he is LOVE himself! So God loves the fact that you are in love with someone and he’s willing to help you navigate the ups and downs of unconditionally loving another imperfect human like yourself.
Continue reading “Yes, You Can & You Should Pray For Bae!”
Have you ever been on the receiving end of “the silent treatment”? When a friend or spouse totally freezes you out and shuts down all communication and connection because of a perceived wrong or conflict? I think it’s one of the most devastating things to happen to a relationship.
The silent treatment is born out of a desire to inflict hurt. This person wants to ostracize you “to teach you a lesson”. According to psychologists, being given the silent treatment is also an effective form of emotional manipulation.
People who deal with conflict by meting out the silent treatment are described as emotionally immature or who has a desire to dominate but has a problem with effective communication. The only way they can “make you pay” for what you have done is by withdrawing emotionally and sometimes physically.
Continue reading “Emotional Manipulation – The Silent Treatment”
Hi! This Episode on THE FAVORED WOMAN SHOW, I sat down with Afro-Fusion artiste GAISE to talk about the necessity of standing out from the crowd, the challenges that come with choosing to be different and Gaise also shared some of the lessons he’s been learning as a young married man and a brand new father. You’re definitely going to enjoy this one!
Listen, download and of course share!
Adultery used to be a taboo. Something to hide and be ashamed about. It used to be about Older men probably having a mid-life crisis and women who had some sort of marital dissatisfaction.
These days, Adultery has gone on rampage and young marriages seem to be the worst-hit. there’s a lot of issues to address and talk about here but i am most concerned about the horde of young married men in their 30’s to Mid 40’s who prey on single women.
Continue reading “Stepping Away From The Lure Of Adultery”
As written by Lauren Skirvin
“Why wasn’t it me?” Carrie asked the love of her life right before he married another woman. “No, seriously. I really need to hear you say it. Come on, be a friend.”
“I don’t know. It just got so hard… and she’s…” replied Mr. Big.
I know it’s clichéd to quote “Sex and the City,” but it’s still so relevant.
This episode revealed to girls like me what we’ve subconsciously known for a long time: We are the type of girls you should be with, but you don’t want to be with.
Mr. Big was probably going to finish that statement with “easy.” Natasha, his soon-to-be wife, is easy — as in, she just goes with the flow. She doesn’t get angry or challenge him to be better.
Continue reading “The ‘Simple’ Girlfriend & The ‘Complicated’ Girlfriend”
When I saw the above tweet, believe me i was stunned and then i was livid. Interestingly, not at the guy who tweeted this; but at the horde of single women who have allowed themselves to become this statistic. The sad fact is that, this guy is right. Most single women above 26 are easily lured into empty relationships because they are quick to bite on the “marriage bait”.
Continue reading “When “I Want To Marry You” means “I Want To Sleep With You””
For some time now, I’ve been ruminating over why so many single people are pressured about marriage in the church community. Most churches are quick to deny this. They say; “No one is pressuring you, it’s okay to be single and serve God…” and other patronising statements like that but every time special programs are organised for singles, the theme will always revolve around relationships, dating and marriage.
Look, we have single people and we have married people. Not everyone is meant to be married. I believe that there is no such thing as a healthy church until we bring back God’s call to singleness inside the church.
We won’t glorify God completely unless we have a vibrant single’s community. And I’m not talking about a “meet other singles and network for dating opportunity” kind of single’s fellowship most churches have.
Continue reading “We Are Not All Meant To Be Married…”
Let me start by saying that jerry Maguire lied to y’all. You will not find a man that completes you. Only Jesus can do that. And he already has. It’s a good thing to desire a husband but it shouldn’t be the goal of your existence. Don’t sit around waiting for a man to come and marry you before your life can have a meaning. God wants to use you and frankly speaking, whether you are single or married, he will use you if you let him. So why are you waiting for marriage before you get on track with what God wants to do?
Leverage on your single status by pouring into the lives of younger women and making disciples. There are Secondary school girls, Undergraduates, and other younger girls who look up to you and think you are incredible. Seize this opportunity and mentor them.
Don’t sit around moping and trolling your married friends’ instagram photos (especially the #MyHusbadAndMe selfies)
Stop it! Pour yourself out into the lives of younger ones to the glory of God.
QUESTION: What exactly does it mean or look like for a Christian man to lead a Christian woman in a dating relationship?
ANSWER: I don’t know why we have been taught that this ideology applies to dating, so let me just come right out and say it: As a boyfriend, you have no business being her leader.
Continue reading “Dear Boyfriend, You’re Not A Husband…Yet.”
My advice to young women who want to marry a godly man is to become a godly woman. Marry a man who has a soft heart toward God. A man who hears and responds to God is a treasure to his friends and his family.
And choose a guy based on his potential in 20 years. I see too many woman that want the hunk or the guy flowing in cash.
Continue reading “Praying For A Godly Man. Are You A Godly Woman?”
These days, contradicting and varying messages are everywhere: in books, magazines, movies and music. As a result, many couples and single people, fall into the trap of looking everywhere but to the Designer of marriage, to find out what he intended for marriage.
If you’ve tried understanding marriage through the world, there’s a better way.
Continue reading “MONICA ZUNNY LAUNCHES “THE POSITIVE MARRIAGE INITIATIVE”!”
You know, a young man will say, “I desire to marry this girl.”
And I will say, “Why?”
And he will say, “Well, I love to be with her and she is beautiful and when I am with her we feel so good and it just meets so many needs in my life and there is just when she is around, my life is so much more endearing.”
Continue reading “Is Marriage Really A 50-50 Affair?”
I should start by saying I’m not a relationship coach or a marriage counselor or whatever. However, by the grace of God and the power of the holy spirit, I do have wisdom to speak on certain things. So here is one of them.
The decision to get married is the second-most important decision you can make, ( After the decision to give your hear to Christ) and it requires very careful thinking and planning.
Before taking that important step, here are some of the things to consider carefully and learn:
Continue reading “5 Things You Must Learn Before Getting Married”