Behavioural scientists say humans are by nature social creatures. We connect with other humans emotionally and we seek out physical connections that appeal to us emotionally.
As it is true in behavioural science, so is it true in our lives as spiritual beings too. In actual fact, i believe this desire for connection originates from our spirit because Man is spirit first.
We cannot do life alone. we are not wired that way. In our walk with God, we will sometimes need a hand to hold as we walk through some difficult learning moments, we will need the support of a community, and the companionship and fellowship of friends and brethren to share joys with.
Community keeps us from becoming a self-absorbed island. community can keep us accountable. community keeps us balanced.
God always establishes us in a community so that we can receive his love through the channels of people he surrounds us with. It could be your church family, circle of friends, prayer group or mentors; take a careful look around you; you’ll find them.
Now, i’m not saying things will be rosy dovy all the time with some people in your community; because we are human, friction will happen but you will learn through grace and forgiveness and you will grow.
You are not created to go through life all on your own. God has given you a support system. look carefully around you; chances are you already know who they are. CONNECT!
Mistakes they say, is all part of being human. As long as we remain alive on this earth, we will do some things in error, say some things in error, make erroneous judgement and decisions sometimes and it’s all part of the imperfect human experience.
There are times your mistakes threaten to overwhelm you. You feel you’ve done that one thing and there’s no coming back. you’ve blown it this time and there’s no fixing it.
You’re wrong. Humans make mistakes, God does not.
I walked into a store today and bought a really nice dress. It might come across as a little strange that I would make a point of writing about this, but trust me; it’s absolutely important.
If you work hard and have loads of responsibilities and family obligations, you might have found yourself in a place where you have forgotten about you because you’re so busy taking care of everyone else.
You might be saving hard for a future dream, building a business or just getting bills paid. I understand that in the present day Nigerian economy, most of us have had to make adjustments but I also know that you need to give yourself a break and take a breather.
Take out time to pat yourself on the back and reward yourself. It’s not being selfish. It’s called self-care.
I am not asking you to become financially reckless or irresponsible. I am only asking you to trust God enough to relax and let yourself enjoy some of the rewards of your hard work.
For me, I felt a certain kind of way when I bought the dress. I felt carefree, happy and light as a little girl. For you, it might not be the buying of a dress. It could be taking yourself out on a dinner date at a nice restaurant, going to the spa and getting facials and a massage or taking a weekend trip out of town.
Whatever you do, make sure it’s something that makes you feel good and laugh. Laugh out loud. Take long showers, drink some wine. Turn of the phone, lie down and sleep through one weekend. Tell God that you know he loves you and he’s got you covered and you’re going to relax and enjoy being taken care of.
Do that and regularly and watch that tension drain away. This weekend, let your keyword be SELF CARE.
It’s become a thing now. To share our thoughts, plans, resolutions and intentions for the new year. Facebook, twitter, offline conversations with friends, everyone is sharing their goals and plans for the new year.
I just want to let you know that you don’t have to be under pressure to share too. If you haven’t figured out what you’re going to do in the new year, it’s OK. You and God can work that out and when you do, it’s okay if you want to keep it between yourself and him.
Actually, from experience, i can safely tell you that a lot of people do more talking than doing. It will be more beneficial if you focus on the doing than talking about it to people who have no contribution to your life’s journey.
Don’t be under pressure to “say something, so that people won’t think you’re not up to anything“. Like my PF would say; “Because you’re not showing everybody doesn’t mean it’s not happening”. (Actually, he blew my mind when he said that!:D)
Write it down in a private journal if you must, for accountability (to yourself) but focus on letting your results in 2017 do the public announcement.
The fact that someone hurt you, doesn’t mean they were never supposed to be in your life. Sometimes, we need to experience life, work, school, relationship with certain people so that we can learn not just how to handle difficulty, but so we can get to know ourselves better.
There are people that have been placed on your path through life that will open up your deepest fears, insecurities and expose your carefully airbrushed rough edges. You need those people.
I have watched young people squander opportunities. Opportunities that other less-fortunate or less-connected young ones pray, hustle, wish and would do anything for. I must say it hurts. It hurts like salt on a raw wound because i am a product of several opportunities myself.
I was a nameless, stay-in-the-background, unnoticed intern when someone at NTA (Nigerian Television Authority) Kaduna looked at me and offered me a spot to try out in front of the camera. It was a dream i never thought would come true.
Sometimes, distractions from purpose do not come from outside or external factors; they come from within you. Indeed it is possible to distract yourself from your mission and purpose while you’re busy doing activities around that same purpose. Confused? Don’t be.
Activities can be deceptive. It keeps us busy. It makes us look busy. But a lot of times, we are running around in circles, wearing ourselves out trying to do things that God has already sorted out if only we paid closer attention to our inner communication with God and follow his leading.
When you realize that the story of your life is authored by God himself, you will be at peace. You will be at peace with yourself, peace with your environment and peace with God. Lately, I have been learning about God’s peace. I have read it countless times in Apostle Paul’s letter to the Philippians, that we can experience a kind of peace that is beyond human understanding but it is one thing to read about an experience, it is another thing to live that experience.
I understand that the peace of God is not necessarily the absence of chaos and trouble. The peace of God is a deep understanding and confidence in his presence and his absolute control over the direction your lie is taking. Such that the whole world around might seem to be conspiring to make you miserable, but at your deepest core is a calmness and confidence that outside observers do not understand.
I’ve been living for myself recently. Trying so hard to do things & position myself
in places that benefit only me. No wonder I’ve been disillusioned, tired & worried.
I asked a friend to pray for me. God answered by showing me this:
2 Corinthians 5:15 (NLT)
“He died for everyone so that those who receive his new life will no longer live for themselves. Instead, they will live for Christ, who died and was raised for them.”
He then pointed out what I’ve been doing wrong and how my motives had become affected.
That shift is so subtle you don’t even notice. You might still be doing good things you’ve always done.. Helping people, inspiring others, maybe even preaching, giving or whatever.
But somehow, somewhere… You motives have become slightly askew. It’s become about you. You become calculative, rehearsed, concerned about how you’re perceived…. Well… It does happen. And it happened to me.
So I had to go back to what his purpose is. HIM ALONE. All back to the audience of one. All about his mission and his agenda.
Still doing the same things… saying the same things… but for different reasons.
Recently, I have watched myself grow as an individual, mentally and emotionally and I am excited to observe the change that is happening to me. There are lot of factors contributing to this growth but one of the major reasons is because I learned how to own my issues.
It has taken me a while to get here. To acknowledge the issues and the baggage I have and take responsibility for the actions and decisions I have taken as a result of those internal issues.
I grew up as an emotionally complex female with daddy issues, a barrage of insecurities, self-esteem issues and a severe hunger for acceptance and affection. As a result, extreme mood swings, anger and a borderline personality disorder were my companions. I am creative and intelligent but I was a difficult person to deal with. I could not exactly make friends and I was quick to lose the few ones I managed to make.
I have learnt that people will grow at their own pace and mature in their own time. You have to let people go through their own process. Your Christianity cannot be projected on someone else. Your salvation is personal to you. It won’t save your spouse, your kids or your friend.
As much as you desire for them to mature in faith, be strong or probably make lifestyle changes, you cannot impose your faith on them.
You can only pray for them, love them, teach them if you’re in a position to, and be there when they need you.
Otherwise, you leave them be.
It’s not a common name. and she’s not your everyday girl either. But i didn’t know that either. I had seen her several times, cooking in the kitchen that i shared with my flatmates, coming in and climbing upstairs to see her sister who shared a flat with me. Sometimes, i would say a casual hello, sometimes i wouldn’t bother. Either way, i never really spared her a thought. i was indifferent.
But God had other plans. You see, a lot of times, we ignore the very people that God had brought into our lives and don’t care because we are not sensitive enough to see them and recognize them.
I have decided to stop writing fluffy religious articles. That’s why I haven’t been writing anything for some time. Oh don’t be alarmed, I am still very much interested in sharing my faith. But I have since realized that more often than not, sharing my life experiences and day to day challenges and journey with God encourages others more than pushing scriptures down people’s throats.
Not that it’s wrong to quote scriptures, it’s just that I want to relate with you more. I want you to realize that I go through the same things you do. I stumble, sometimes I fall, I think the wrong thoughts, say the wrong things but I’m still on the way. Still holding on, still trusting God and still having faith in his love.
You know it’s easy to tell others what to do. But when you have to look closely into your own life and talk about your own issues, it’s not a bed of roses. Because there are times i don’t take my own advice.
Christianity is a deeply personal journey. It’s a RELATIONSHIP. and relationships can be painful sometimes. It can be rocky sometimes. But it’s a beautiful place to be. So as i share my journey, my REAL journey, i hope and pray that it leads you to be real with God and yourself. and it encourages you to drop all performances because it’s not worth it.
Welcome to a season of realness. I will share my stories. I hope you share yours here too. So that someone somewhere will be encouraged.
Like Kirk Franklin, I’m losing my religion.
Welcome to real life.
Young people (and even some of you ‘oldies’! ) need to read more properly written books.
Proper writing skills have been thrown out of the window in favour of badly constructed sentences, bad punctuation and badly spelled words and social media inspired short-hand.
I am embarrased and appalled when i read messages, comments and emails from adults who are supposedly educated and taught the art of communicating in english language.
Some of you don’t get responses to applications and proposals because your presentation is fraught with grammatical errors and spelling errors one would expect from a five year old and so on.