I grew up exposed to conservative, christian marriages even though I was raised by a single mother. I was raised to aspire to that kind of marriage because it’s the “right and proper way”. Gender and relationship stereotypes where husbands lead and wives followed or submit were entrenched in every lesson, moral instruction and youth counseling session.
As I grew older and started looking closely, I saw how unhappy most of the married people around me were; the women struggling and sometimes resigned to playing their assigned gender roles and I knew something was wrong with that dynamic and I was sure I wanted none of it.
I knew i loved the idea of a family but not while i have to fall in the back and be the second class citizen and subordinate in the relationship. The older i got, the more i started to discover myself and settle into my own space and understand God’s purpose for me, the more i realized that an egalitarian marriage is what I want.
I want a marriage based on love, mutual trust, where vulnerability can be expressed, respect, forgiveness and mutual sacrifice are shared, there is open communication, and equality is key
I want a marriage where decisions are made together on an equal platform and at times when we both disagree on an issue, we can both come to the table and respectfully state our positions and be objective and be willing to meet each other half-way.
I want a marriage where we invest in each other’s interests and help each other up.
I want a marriage where gender roles do not factor in how we run our home and family and tasks are done based on individual giftedness and we can accept our uniqueness and understand our weaknesses.
I want a marriage where equal partnership is a key factor of our love relationship and we are mutually submissive to Christ who is the only authority in our home.
It’s egalitarian i know. I guess that means i am egalitarian. I believe it is what God wants for not just me, but for all his children.