Rape & The Culture Of Silence – Editi Effiong

The biggest enabler of rape & sexual violence in our communities is silence. Silence promoted by culture, religion & family. Rape is all around us. Fathers raping daughters, uncles raping nieces and so on.

Of course the rape of house girls is now almost an everyday occurrence. Rape in places of worship is also quite common these days. But “touching my anointed” is also a thing, so, silence. Over the last couple of weeks, I’ve read so many stories of rape. Sexual violence is a culture in Nigeria.

But a personal story came back to me last week. I met an old school mate. A rapist. Then realised, the scale of the problem.

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I Almost Killed Myself On Thursday….

I am not sucidal or anything.. (although i almost feel that way when i have to preview certain songs before airplay). However, after what happened to me on thursday, the headlines would probably have read like: “Nigerian Radio Presenter Kills Herself While Cleaning Bathroom”. (That is if i even make headlines)  But the devil is a liar.

So what happened was i got home early from work and i decided to scrub my bathroom wall tiles with the new Harpic cleaner and Hypo Bleach i had just bought. This was not the first time i had cleaned with both cleaning agents but on this day, something went wrong.  Very wrong.

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31 Years Old & Fabulous! Not Perfect Yet, But I’m On My Way!


I don’t have a long emtional birthday post today. All i have is a thankful heart for being alive and fulfilling purpose. There was a time when i was worried about what i would be doing at a certain point in my life. Will I be rich? will i be successful? will i be happy? will i be relevant?

And then God showed me the problem with thinking that way is that it was all about me. I was too focused on me. He showed me the source of true happiness and fulfillment; caring for others and using what i have been blessed with to bless others. I relaized it’s not about me. It’s about the lives i can reach out to.

Suddenly, i had a mission. I had a purpose. My life means more now that I have found my assignment.

For that i am grateful. I am happy, I am blessed beyond measure. I enjoy God’s grace, mercy and favour beyond imagination. God has been good.

At 31 years old today, I am where God needs me to be, doing what he’s asked me to do. I am learning and i am growing. Not perfect yet, but I’m on my way!


B.R.M.C – Radio Presenter Training! – REGISTER HERE!

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BROADCAST RADIO MASTER CLASS (BRMC) is designed for young people who are thinking of a career in broadcast. BRMC is a day conference comprising a variety of seminars, hands-on skills sessions and lectures. The goal of this workshop is to provide practical advice for getting into and getting on in the radio industry

The one-day intensive workshop will give the participants the opportunity to connect and network with established media practitioners, ask relevant questions and most importantly, learn the basics of their intended career.

The facilitators are seasoned, tested and professional broadcasters, Voice Coaches and Media Personalities from the biggest radio stations in Lagos.

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False Worship…

Why do we withhold grace and mercy from those who need them because we think they don’t deserve it?

My gateman Suleiman has shown me several times in different ways that he needs some provisions for his Ramadan fast. I have ignored because he’s been behaving badly of late.

And then this morning, God led me here:

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The ‘Simple’ Girlfriend & The ‘Complicated’ Girlfriend

As written by Lauren Skirvin

“Why wasn’t it me?” Carrie asked the love of her life right before he married another woman. “No, seriously. I really need to hear you say it. Come on, be a friend.”

“I don’t know. It just got so hard… and she’s…” replied Mr. Big.


I know it’s clichéd to quote “Sex and the City,” but it’s still so relevant.

This episode revealed to girls like me what we’ve subconsciously known for a long time: We are the type of girls you should be with, but you don’t want to be with.

Mr. Big was probably going to finish that statement with “easy.” Natasha, his soon-to-be wife, is easy — as in, she just goes with the flow. She doesn’t get angry or challenge him to be better.

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Sometimes, Instagram Depresses Me…


Sometimes, Instagram depresses me. The smiley selfies, the glam photos, the corny quotes, the subtle and sometimes not so subtle show off photos, the “show off my food” photos, baby photos… everything.

I go on instagram sometimes and i wonder why i bothered. I don’t know. It’s weird. You see all these happy faces and you wonder if these folks are as happy as they show you. Are their lives so fabulous and exciting?

I do know for a  fact that we don’t see the “behind the scenes” of these instagram photos; we don’t see the 10 different poses deleted so that the “right” one can be posted, we don’t see the puffy eyes cleverly covered by expert make-up, we don’t feel the pinch and pain of those fabulous heels shown off with the hashtag #ShowGram.

So why do i feel compelled to compare my behind the scenes to someone else’s highlights reel when it depresses me whenever i do it?

I have no idea.  But i never said i was perfect. did I?

EVENT: Tolu Falode Presents; “THE CALL”.


Come and Be Inspired! ‘The Call’ is an event aimed at encouraging youths to build a relationship with Christ. It is about stepping into the path of purpose and finding the faith to realise your dreams.

There will be refreshments provided, fun, laughter and an atmosphere open and welcoming to the presence of the Holy Spirit. Motivational Speaker, Author, Law Graduate and Leader of Gift of Grace Ministries: Tolu Falode also shares her experiences before and after coming into Christ.

She discusses how that opened the path of purpose awakening. Her book ‘Gift of Grace: A Sibling Bond’ which aims to inspire youths will also be available at the event. Come and discover the path to destiny!

For more information: Contact: 08097009800 Facebook: Tolu Falode: Gift Of Grace Twitter: @tolufalode Instagram: fantheflame E-Mail: tolufalode@yahoo.com

Time: 12 PM

Venue: Protea Hotel, Plot 1700, Violet Yough Close, Off Adetokunbo Ademola, Victoria Island, Lagos.

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