Sometimes I feel like I’m not making progress. I feel like I should be banking 6 digits monthly, driving a shiny car, snuggling with a hunk, whose rings are on my fourth finger and making national if not global headlines.
But how many of us are actually where we think we should be? When that feeling of inadequacy and stagnation descends and weighs on you like a wet blanket, christianese cliches like “God’s time is the best” and ” God has great plans for your life” just don’t cut it.
I have found myself here so many times that I had to ask God what exactly is happening to me. Is my faith weak? Sometimes yeah. Do I love God? Absolutely Yes! So why do I constantly feel like I’m not doing or getting enough?
I’m learning that it’s because I have been focusing on where I’m supposed to be going, rather than who I am becoming. The truth is, I do not know where God is taking me in this life. I cannot tell my future. All I’m told is that it’s a good one, and I trust that promise. But I do know that I’m becoming who I’m supposed to be and God cares a lot about that.
When I read: Philippians 2:13 (NLT)
13 For God is working in you, giving you the desire and the power to do what pleases him.
I see that God is indeed interested in who I’m becoming and I chase after just that.
Philippians 1:11 (NLT)
11 May you always be filled with the fruit of your salvation—the righteous character produced in your life by Jesus Christ—for this will bring much glory and praise to God.
I chase after the righteous character that is being produced in me, and let God handle my future.
Like Alastair Bryan Sterne said:
“It is precisely when we focus on God’s desire to transform us that He teaches us how to walk through the uncertainty of where we are going. The result is the temporary uncertainty of this life becomes far less important in light of the eternal trajectory we are now focused on. We walk toward Christ through doubt, through struggles, through confusion, through unanswered prayers and through our relentless desire to simply know where every moment of our lives will end up. We don’t know everything—we don’t know the specific job, home, spouse, school, friends, challenges or callings our lives may entail—but we know the one thing necessary.”
I believe that God’s will for my lives is to see me transformed into the likeness of Jesus — to become a woman who walk more and love more like Jesus Himself. I might not have clarity on a lot of things about my future, but I am learning to let go and let God while I focus on my becoming.