This is one of those times I have to be brutally open on this blog because not only does it help me, it can help someone else too. And most importantly, I know that God gave me this blog to connect with his children and encourage and inspire through sharing my own journey. This past week has been a struggle. For those who don’t know, I do struggle with a mood disorder that border on depression. So I had a relapse. I was out of sync with everything. I could barely function at my job, (when you talk for a living, you can imagine how hard that can be) I was miserable for no apparent reason and all i wanted to do was curl up and avoid anything human.
Did I pray? Barely. Did I read my bible and speak in tongues and do all those nice Christian things I know to do? Nope. I didn’t go to church because I didn’t wanna see or talk to people.
I blanked my mind with mindless chatter on social media and binged on TV shows I didn’t enjoy because I just wanted to escape from my present depressive reality.
The religious “if you consider what others are going through, you will thank God for your own life” statement, does not work either. Antidepressants don’t help me much either. Or maybe I just don’t want them.
Anyway, the long week is finally over. Today is Monday and I’m sharing because I’m back. I went to church yesterday and I cried my eyes out. I cried because I was reminded that God’s purpose for my existence is bigger than whatever I am dealing with. I was reminded of Apostle Paul’s thorn in the flesh and how he glorified God through it.
So I will give God glory through my pain, as i continually ask for grace to fulfil purpose.