Is Marriage Really A 50-50 Affair?

You know, a young man will say, “I desire to marry this girl.”

And I will say, “Why?”
And he will say, “Well, I love to be with her and she is beautiful and when I am with her we feel so good and it just meets so many needs in my life and there is just when she is around, my life is so much more endearing.”

And I will always ask him this question, “Well, then, what you are telling me is you want to marry this girl because she meets all your selfish self centered needs and desires?”
The young man will always say, “No, that is not what I mean.”
And I’ll always say, “But that is what you said. You want to be with her because she is beautiful. Young man, what happens when she is no longer beautiful? What happens when someone more beautiful comes across your path?”
Or, “We can really talk and that is why we want to be together?”
What happens when you can’t really talk?
“We feel so good together.”
What happens when those feelings for a season are gone?
You see, your marriage must be based upon this one thing. God has called me to lay down my life for this woman. If she responds in kind praise the Lord. If she does not respond in kind, praise the Lord because I am not in this for me. And in a sense I am not even in this for her. But I am in this for God.
The world will tell us that…that marriage is a 50-50 relationship. And then years ago Christians came along and said, “No. It is not a 50-50 relationship, it is 100%-100% relationship.”
I disagree with both. Marriage is 100%-0% relationship. You give 100% of everything you are to this woman even if she returns nothing of the sort back to you because you have been called of God to lay down your life for her.



7 Replies to “Is Marriage Really A 50-50 Affair?”

  1. @4lah, this is one bitter truth that may be difficult to absorb, I perceived that most of us are parasite by nature, it takes divine nature in a man to embrace this truth. What we can’t die for, we shouldn’t live on…though love flourished when It’s reciprocate but we must be ready to give all in order to have all.

  2. It will take a special grace of God to do just that. But it is possible because God is involve, let us believe in Him to carry us along

  3. Nice one 4lah.but your post seems directed to the menfolk. What about our ladies? One outstanding characteristic of our day is selfishness . The ONLY way out is to allow the Spirit of GOD work in us enabling us to overcome the self in us and to live above the corruption that has come to define our generation. How much we need to embrace the cross of Christ!

  4. I must confess to that article on marriage, it totally threw me off balance. All I need is just a little TLC, a little Appreciation, is that too much to ask?

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